Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Unfinished Story



"So, what's new ?"


I really hate that question as a conversation starter.
I mean really, you have no choice but to say,
"not much."

Well, the truth is, there is not much new.
Yet things are very different.

Not that long ago, we expected, hoped for, and eagerly awaited 
a flight across an ocean to meet the little boy we were certain was ours.
We had hoped he'd be home by Christmas.

I have clothes collected from yardsales over the summer
not even knowing exactly what size he would need--
cute little fall overalls, winter sweaters, and little boy jeans.
I am not sure what to do with that now.



Today it dawned on me that I had to take his pictures off this blog.
He is not ours. He belongs to someone else.
This is not the way I thought the story would end.
 But then again, I am not the author.


I'm not going to pretend that I understand what happened.
I certainly don't pretend to know what happens next.
But I'll tell you what I believe.




There is more to the story that we don't know.

And as much as I want to know...
as much as I want to go...
the answer I get is...
No. Not yet.

WAIT.

REST.

BE STILL AND KNOW.



After years of going, going, going on this adoption journey it's hard to be still.
It's hard to wait. It's hard to accept. It's way beyond my understanding.
 I may never get the answers to my questions.



There is a special quote of Steven Curtice Chapman that God used to get this whole story started:

He (God) delights in doing things that we say are impossible.  Ours is to have the faith to take that first step.  If you start that journey and it isn’t completed the way you thought it would, God is still in that journey and will provide for you.  I would encourage people to step forward and see what God wants to do in their lives." 


We took that first step.  We took the zillion steps in between. 
But I never ever considered that our adoption journey would end without an adoption.




"If you start that journey and it isn't completed the way you thought it would, 
God is still in that journey and will provide for you."
I have to keep reminding myself. I really, really do.


"God is still in this."
"God is still in this."
"God is still in this."


REST in His timing. REST in His goodness. REST in His purpose.


Wait expectantly for the Author. 
The story isn't finished.














8 comments:

  1. Beautiful thoughts. Your confidence in God is a testimony and a blessing. You're so right...He is still working...He is still writing your story... He is still in the journey...and He is holding you as you rest. Our hope is in Him, and He is faithful! Much love!

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  2. You sure said this well. I'm feeling your pain through these words. I'm also feeling your hope.

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  3. Oh girl,

    It is not finished. I say this with confidence after a failed adoption. After a really, really rough few years. If God calls you to it, He has a plan. I hope you have your seat belt on. That's all I have to say about that...

    Praying friend, and I am sooooo glad you are back!

    Joy

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  4. Good to hear your heart!!!! God does have great things in store!!! Loved the song reminder...Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord!!!! I miss you at CBS!!! I miss Gabby at bball!! Love ya

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  5. Kristi - wow. What a story. Like FPFG said, I feel your pain but I also feel your hope too. His light is shining through you.

    And p.s. thanks for coming back (new/old) friend! :)

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  6. Saw your encouraging words over at jami's & just had to say 'hi!' I can't even begin to 'feel' your pain here, but I will lend a heart-felt AMEN! God the weaver of this master carpet had a plan for you & it's GREATER than we could ever imagine!!!

    Praying your day is wrapped in peace! :)

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  7. Thank you for commenting on my blog. I'm sorry I scared you!

    It has got to be so painful to go through this. I know the Lord has something amazing in store for you and your family.

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  8. Thanks for the kind re-visit!

    In answer to your question 'yes!' And I wouldn't change a thing, the good, the bad....the in between! It's my tree rings of growth!

    Just prayed again for you today sweet Kristi! :)

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